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General Dreamwidth chatter, including owners, developers, support, and cheerleaders. Occasionally NSFW.

For the bosses' sanity, discussion of politics and religion is to be kept to other channels.


For the anti-spam team. Ops are Azz and skrshawk. SpamBot is the resident bot, owned by [info]exor674.

SpamBot announces new spam and when the queue has been cleared. The command 'SpamBot: spam' makes SpamBot list the current contents of the queue.


For discussing documentation.


Intensive developer training; often quiet until someone asks a question.


What it says on the can. For the NSFW discussions that sometimes pop up in #dw


Mark, Denise, and Nagios the Annoying Wonder Bot.


For discussing the styles system.


For support-types to hang out, ask questions, and learn. Run by the Triumvirate of Domtheknight (Dom), Chemicallace (Chemla), and MissKat (Kat)


For medical discussion and any of those generally interesting but actually occasionally a little gross discussions that sometimes start up.


A development/support/testing-focused channel without side-chatter.


For games of Acrophobia.


Testing channel for Figment


Testing/botspam channel for the hellbot. The hellbot is not rate limited in this channel, and Figment has reminderbot capabilities in this channel.


For playing Zilch.


IRC bots are programs people can interact with in the IRC channel. They have their own usernames and different uses.

Infobot has been fed the wiki links for most of the bots on the server. Infobot, help <bot> will usually result in a quick link to that bot's documentation.


Figment has several different features, and will answer to "Figment" or "Fig" interchangeably, as well as "Infobot" and "Bit".

(Currently, Figment will do a Bugsy-like lookup of Support requests in #dw_support upon someone mentioning the request number, such as request <x> or req <x> -- this may be subject to change as the tool uses screen scraping.)


There is a DW-specific infobot in the channel named Figment; the commands to use him are:

infobot, <x> is <y>
This is how you ask Figment to remember a factoid <x>. For example, you might say:
infobot, wiki is
which would ask him to remember that the factoid "wiki" was the URL to Dreamwidth's development wiki. This command works only in PM. You can ask him to recall a factoid with the command below.
infobot, <x>
This asks Figment to recall a factoid that was previously remembered. You can use this in channel or in PM.
infobot, no, <x> is <y>
If Figment already knows a factoid when you try to ask him to remember one, he'll tell you that he already knows it and he won't remember the new definition. This command tells him to change the factoid to the new definition anyway. This command works only in PM.
infobot, forget <x>
This asks Figment to forget the factoid <x>. This command works only in PM.

You can use "info," instead of "infobot," for any of these commands if you wish.


Ask Bit a yes or no question, or ask Bit to pick between comma-separated options. Bit will choose!

Bit, tally will make Bit give a tally of the yes and no answers since the last time Bit was rebooted.

As Bit has not been specifically programmed to favor working on bugs, support, or code reviews over other (more frivolous) pursuits, it is clear that Bit just naturally favors these things, being a bot.


Figment will link to any support request mentioned in channel.

request <x> said in channel, anywhere in the sentence, will result in Figment linking the support request in question.
Figment, green
This asks Figment to retrieve the stats on the support requests without approved answers.

Figment functions like Anna for a support-bot, for those who are familiar with Anna.

These may be addressed to "Fig" as well.

Figment, tags
This asks Figment to retrieve the bracketed tags in the subjects of support requests.
Figment, stars
This asks Figment to retrieve a list of categories that have reached their defined thresholds.
Figment, be Goat
Figment will give the green count in Goat style.
Figment, points <x>
Figment will give the number of support points for the given user or category, or (if not user or category is given) the total number of points available on the board if one were to leave an approved answer for all the open questions right now.
Figment, stale
Figment will give stats on the requests that have been open longest.
Figment, recent
Gives a detailed report of open support requests in multiple categories.
Figment, recenttags
Lists tags of current green requests.
Figment, kittens
Figment will give a list of the categories that are under their defined thresholds. (Categories = cats = small cats = kittens)
Figment, random
Figment will give a random support request, optionally within a given category.
Figment, search
Currently unimplemented.
Figment, stats
Currently unimplemented.


This function is only available in PM or in #hell.


Remind me in


Remind me in 12 minutes DING COOKIES ARE DONE

This command does not need to be addressed directly to the bot.


These may be addressed to "Fig" as well.

Figment, countdown <time> <timezone>
Gives the time remaining until the specified time. fig, countdown 9pm EDT
Figment, gmt
Displays the current Greenwich Meridian Time.
Figment, is DW up?
Asks Figment to check if DW is up. "up" can be replaced with "down" synonymously.
Figment, math
A basic calculator.
Figment, twitter <x>
Reports the last tweet posted by a Twitter user. Defaults to @dreamwidth if no username is given. (The twitter account for Nagios is @dw_alerts.)
Figment, botsnack
Not really its own command, but a nice way to reward our very useful bot.

hEll bot

You can feed items to hell. When an item is fed to hell, hell will most likely spew out random items it has consumed.

feed <x> to hell
/me feeds <x> to hell
This feeds an item to Hell. Hell will probably at this point in time spew out one or two items it has been holding. It may also burp and not expel anything new.
(Hell recognises a number of synonyms for "feed". The current list is "feed", "send", "damn", "punt", "toss", "smite", "condemn", "hurl", "throw" and "kick". These can also be used in their equivalent form as part of a /me - for example, "/me damns <x> to hell".)
hell, tally
This tells you how many items hell is currently holding.

Hell does not have a search function, so the only way to know what is in hell at any given time is to have kept track (or ask hell's minder).

There is a separate level of hell for every channel that hell is in, so objects that are fed to it in its testing channel will not re-emerge in #dw, and vice versa.

Hell is rate limited in #dw, to avoid abuse. Hell is not rate limited in #hell.

The rumor that hell is sentient is just that: a rumor. Really. We swear. ...We hope.


Bugsy is a bot that notifies the channel when bugs are opened, closed, or receive patches. It will also bring up more information about any bug that you link to or mention in channel.

bug <x> said in channel, anywhere in the sentence, will result in Bugsy linking the bug in question. If Bugsy isn't in the channel, Figment will normally ask him for you, as long as Figment is also in the channel.
when starting a line with this, it does something, mostly Bugsy telling you that it wasn't a valid command (if you say "@denise that was awesome", for example).


Nagios is a bot that pages Mark when the site is down. Or up. An archive of its messages can be found at @dw_alerts on Twitter.

Not to be mistaken for _nagios_, who is usually D being Very Silly at Mark's expense.