Book of Wholesome Hobbies

The Book of Wholesome Hobbies That Denise And Mark Have Forbidden Their Staff and Volunteers From Taking Part In

Originates from IRC. (This is ha-ha-only-serious.)

Book of Wholesome Hobbies that are Forbidden

• Getting hit by a bus (essential or non-essential)
• Deleting every single comment that an ex-friend has left in your journal and marking it as spam. (It's the marking it as spam part that's forbidden. Delete to your heart's content.)
• Feeding the trolls.
• Hanging out with that guy who points AK-47s at you.
• Making a large number of completely outlandish suggestions in dw_suggestions for the sole purpose of making the person handling the moderation queue crack up.
• Tossing x-acto knife like it's a pen while bored waiting for things to run http://qdb.dreamwidth.net/dw/258
• Fall over and injure themselves
• Stuff parmesan cheese up their noses
• Turn Random Word hEll into a mutant supervillain (via gamma ray exposure, or any other method)
• Summon Rah like an Elder God: http://qdb.dreamwidth.net/dw/488 and http://qdb.dreamwidth.net/dw/590
• Buying chemical raw materials.
• Playing with chemicals (unless that is part of your Actual Job Description at your Actual Job). http://qdb.dreamwidth.net/dw/516
• Getting gum stuck in your nose hair. http://azurelunatic.dreamwidth.org/6723816.html
• Engaging in knife fights to determine who gets to keep their confusingly similar IRC nick and who must change
• Any sort of knife fight at all
• We probably have a rule about committing while on drugs.
  • Committing while not on the drugs you're normally supposed to be on: also not recommended.
• Doing a burn test on unknown or possibly wool fibers with inadequate ventilation http://qdb.dreamwidth.net/dw/225
• Setting users on fire http://qdb.dreamwidth.net/dw/588
• Attempting to ride a Segway into the library http://misskat.dreamwidth.org/3452087.html
• Throwing things off the hotel balcony
  • In this case, people count as things.
• Buying unwise sparklers
• Spending excessive amounts of money on nail polish
• Stay up past bedtime
  • Especially when "staying up past bedtime" will constitute going against a direct order from The Bossen
• Lick the keyboard (even if it is flavored)
  • Questioning the need for the no-licking rule may result fairly rapidly in a lentil-flavored Bluetooth keyboard.
• Leaving the balcony in a downward direction
• Absolutely not allowed to take a personal day to kill or otherwise physically harm people who have annoyed you.
  • Not on company time either
• Lick cacti
• Eat your co-workers for dinner
  • or any other meal
• Setting things (unspecified) on fire
• Taking over any of the organizations on the blacklist, even if they could really use the upgrade in management
• Summoning elder gods into the hotel we are staying in (our damage deposit doesn't cover it)
  • Or the hotels of beloved contributors.
  • Establishments with particularly good food should also be spared from the wrath of the sorts of elder gods who have been awakened from their slumber in the depths and desperately need a good cuppa.
• Stuffing grape-flavored sprinkles up your boyfriend's nose.
• Anyone breaking causality or other important bits of the space-time continuum gets the Commit-and-Ditch Pony forever (or at least until they fix it).
• If the scale for "how bad is this idea" runs from Miles Vorkosigan to Tony Stark, the answer is NO.
• Getting married, without having lived in the same household for a minimum of one year. (Two, if the previous relationship was That Bad.)

Book of Unwholesome Hobbies that are Permitted

• Code tours that make unwary readers spray drinks through their noses.
• Going to the conference without pants (any definition of "without pants" which is compliant with the conference's code of conduct)
• Having ice cream for breakfast
• Answering Support requests while intoxicated
  • If you're lucky, D will top off your drink for you so you don't have to get up.
    • But approving your own answers while more intoxicated than usual is frowned on.
• Setting voodoo dolls of appropriate accuracy on fire, outside, in approved fire locations, in accordance with state and local regulations, as long as it's not filmed for the internet.
• Coding a feature mostly to prove something to those fools from University, because that means there's a new feature!
• Getting matching tattoos with a Significant Other, as long as:
  • Both of you feel like the tattoo would be a good decision even if you weren't in a relationship, and
  • If you break up horribly, you won't hate the tattoo
• Anyone who feels as though they may be tempted into taking up a Wholesome Hobby (or something that ought to be, but hasn't made the list yet) should feel free to arrange for their own adult supervision.